Dear President Trump,
We all know how popular and important you are. People across the world wait on your every word, knowing that the wisdom you provide will make them stronger, smarter and happier. That is why I think it is important to warn you about JD Vance. He pretends to be your friend and support you in your wonderful work, but he doesn’t really like you and is just waiting for a chance to take your place. Remember, he once called you “America’s Hitler”, which wasn’t very nice. And you see how he keeps talking about the Epstein files. Why would he do that, if he really wants to help you? After poor Charlie Kirk was killed, he took over Kirk’s broadcast for himself. Why? Maybe he wants your loving fans to get used to the sound of his voice instead of yours.
Do you remember all of those movies where the good king has a sinister advisor, the Grand Vizier? The Grand Vizier pretends to support the king, but is really plotting how to get rid of the king and take all of the power for himself. I am afraid that if you, God forbid, have to turn over your powers to JD Vance for any reason, you will never get them back. If I were you, I would fire JD immediately, and get a vice-president that you can trust. May I be so bold as to suggest Marjorie Taylor Greene? I know she really likes you.
Sincerely,
A Loyal Subject.